Holding on and Letting Go
This is coming from an untapped and unnamed place in my being. Unnamed because I haven’t been here before. Untapped because these times are causing me to remember occasions long suppressed. These types of experiences have not just been lived by me but lived by a collective. This time of reckoning for some of us is a time of a penetrating awareness for others.
This liminal space is causing sleepless nights, constant searching, and a never-ending unease. With all of the crisis we are dealing with as a collective, the acknowledgment of the mental, emotional and physical abuse of black people by this national has risen to the top of my list of things that occupy me. That’s saying a lot since one of the other of our collective crises is a deadly pandemic.
What if 2020 isn’t cancelled?
What if 2020 is the year we’ve been waiting for?
A year so uncomfortable, so painful, so scary, so raw –
that it finally forces us to grow.
A year that screams so loud, finally awakening us from our ignorant slumber.
A year that screams so loud, finally awakening us from our ignorant slumber.
A year we finally accept the need for change.
Declare change. Work for change. Become the change
A year we finally band together, instead of pushing each other farther apart
2020 isn’t cancelled but rather the most important year of them all.
- Leslie Dwight
Much of what we are dealing with as a nation and really the world, can be seen through an astrological lens. These events are reflective of the eclipse season that we are in.
Moon— Sun—Moon
Eclipses cause repressed energies and circumstances to emerge for confrontation and resolution. What better explains 450 years of the abuse of a people coming to a head at this time? My experience of racism in this country both in time and intensity is comparatively microscopic. But when I sit with friends or speak with family and hear their stories the affect that it has is compounded.
The vulnerability that I allow when I reabsorb the pain of my own memories and absorb the pain of others through their stories of racial abuse can be overwhelming. You see, this is not a fad for us. When there are no marches when there are no headlines, we are still suffering we’re just repressing these experiences so that we can deal with day to day life or maybe… a pandemic.
What is it about this eclipse season that ties into this multitude of misfortunes? The first eclipse was a lunar eclipse in the sign of Sagittarius. This is my sign, so I already know there’s going to be fire. This is an energy of righteousness, xenophobia, and racism all of which were heavy in the air by June 5th.
The next eclipse was a solar eclipse on June 21st this one was in the lovely sign of cancer. By June 21st by people had galvanized, marches were in full affect around the country. Corporations were making statements and policy changes sentiments of validation and “finally they get it” were in the air. The feminine energy of Cancer shone through as protesters like Kim Jones came into the national spotlight. Her intellect, passion and vulnerability are the attributes that we need to lead this movement.
The activities of the lunar eclipse in Capricorn on July 5th will have the energies of structure, maturity, and responsibility. It will be interesting to see how that plays out, certainly not in the leadership of our country. Perhaps it will continue to be in the Black Lives Matter leadership that is emerging or those speaking out and doing the work to keep us safe from this unending pandemic.
As I seek ways to take care of myself and my family, I am guided to meditation and mantras. I join my husband for a daily meditation that has lasting affects for me. I use the discipline necessary to keep my mind clear for that short 20 minutes to clear my head when my heart gets heavy from the intake of too much information. There’s also a mantra I that repeat…
I stand strong during these uncertain times in order to attract peace, justice, and an abundance of love. There infinite possibilities for the outcomes of the energies that I put forth and I guide my energies towards the light for my strength, the strength of family, friends, and the world.
I find that in a weakened state, I only get weaker but when I repeat this mantra, I gain the strength I need to perhaps lend a voice of wisdom to someone who needs it. I’m not in the camp of those who believe that it is not my responsibility to teach non-whites about our pain. Please come, ask me, I’ll take the blows to give the knowledge. Yes, I’m tired, yes it’s painful to discuss, but I will because you need to hear the pain in addition to reading the books, listening to the podcasts and watching the movies.
I lean on the power of this eclipse season to garner the energies of each of the signs that emanate their respective energies. The fire of Sagittarius, the compassion of Cancer and the fortitude of Capricorn help guide me when I’m looking for direction. More importantly when I’m looking for what to let go of and what to take on.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
- Rumi
Namaste
Dorian McDuffie